Movie Night and Horny Pirates
by MysticSpiritus
Summary: Giftfic for AmazonTurk. Rude and Kandi have a seaworthy adventure ... kind of.


**Disclaimer: Everything is either SquareEnix, myself, AmazonTurk, or dantesdarkqueen. **

_Mystic: (giggles like idiotic fangirl) My good friend AmazonTurk just so happened to leave review number 69 for my ff9 fic, Tantric Ways of a Mage. Yes, she left the 69th review. That deserves a oneshot of the smut-kind! Anyway, AT admitted to me that she has been having trouble writing a lemon for her oc Kandi and that sexy bald Turk named Rude. So, she challenged me to write it. Okay! Happy and horny to oblige. Love ya, bosslady ..._

_Oh, yeah. If you're under 18, get out!_

* * *

"Are you sure she won't be a problem?"

Nilto chuckled and reached up to ruffle her friend's hair. It was a simple gesture, good for annoying oddball relatives of course, but the quick act of tousling up one's perfectly combed tresses was also a gesture to show she cared. "Kandi, Andria will be be just fine," the exorcist said with a wave of her hand. "You and Rude were kind enough to watch my spawn so I could knock off an elemental." 

Damn, she couldn't ruffle Rude's hair because he didn't have any. Reno let her tousle his ruby locks when he stopped by to drop off his daughter, Axys, but Reno would probably let Nilto do a lot more to him anyway.

"Besides," Randak continued, patting his wife on her taut rear as he walked past. "We're hosting Turk Spawn Movie Night."

Kandi looked over into Randak and Nilto's living room, now swarming with the really cool and kickass offspring of the Shinra assassins. One large, fluffy comforter was spread out to cover the hardwood floor, most of the furniture pushed to the side. A thin, square box in the middle of the blanket held an extra-large plain cheese pizza. Various forms of pizza toppings were in small bowls and surrounded the box of italian goodness. Pepperoni, mushrooms, parmesean cheese, bell pepper strips, even anchovies. Tifa had discovered during on of her spawnsitting adventures that it was much easier and less hassle to order a cheese pizza and let the kids choose their own toppings. What a smart bar wrench she was.

All of the Turk spawn were sitting semi-circle around the pizza,and plastic glasses of either Dr. Schlepper, Mideel Dew, or Nepsi sat between them. For the parents, the entire scenario looked like a time portal somehow miraculously opened up in the laughter-filled living room. With the way Nilto was researching the Cetra religion more and more, along with embracing her druid involved past, it wouldn't shock anybody in the least if the exorcist Turk could conjure a portal of somesort, but let's digress. The Turk spawn were easily giving their parental units a glimpse of their future as hormonally-crazed, angst-filled teenagers.

Andria immediately sidled up to Azrael, the silver-haired lad quickly making room for Colonel Faire's daughter. How pleasantly surprised Axys was when Bryce scooted over, motioning for her to sit by him. Paulo and Kaya were sharing a glass of Mideel Dew. Yes, sharing. Two straws in one cup.

Damian completely freaked out Reno by saying that if the red-headed Turk had another cute girl for a child, he'd be interested.

Their teenage years were going to be so much fun ... if they weren't all sent to a convent or monastery beforehand.

Randak kneeled on the floor and began hooking up the sound system to his prized widescreen television. "Renzo is bringing over Puppetmaster." 

Nilto rolled her mysterious eyes. It was Renzo and Shirah's last hurrah before their first baby arrived and they chose to help host a horror movie night. 

"Puppetmaster?" Lily questioned, before she headed out to meet Joel at the Olive Gardenia. "I thought he was bringing Saw."

Her younger sister shook her head as she poured herself a glass of Nepsi. "He said Saw and I said hell no. Puppetmaster is the compromise." She took a sip of the beverage, sighing as the bubbles tickled down her throat. "Pinhead makes me smile."

"Yeah!" Damian exclaimed. "He's bringing all six of 'em!"

Lily groaned and nearly facepalmed. Her cousin was still the dark side of the moon. "Rufus is not going to like that."

"What the president doesn't know won't kill him," Nilto shrugged. "We watched it when we were kids and we turned out okay."

Kandi laughed as she waved goodbye to her daughter. "Have fun, Andi. Love ya lots."

"Behave," Rude instructed with a slight, teasing grin.

"Bye mom. Bye Daddy Rude."

* * *

"Turk Spawn Movie Night." Rude adjusted his sunglasses as he turned the car down another black-tarred road. "Maybe we should host one."

Kandi giggled. "As long as it involves Captain Jack Sparrow." The kickin' spawn would be in pirate overload after a movie night at her place. The bald assassin drove on, eliciting a confused stare from his lover and co-worker. "Rude, you've been a kinky guest at my apartment many times. Where are you going?" He passed by the road to her humble abode ages ago.

"You'll see."

She watched as the curvy roads turned into Midgar City Park; a haven for summertime campers with RV's or tents if one was the rustic type. Lake Ossiwee sat in the middle of the area and it's tranquil waters held numerous forms of canoes, rowboats, speedboats, and party boats for skinny-dipping teenagers. Kandi chuckled a deep belly laugh as one adventurous teen male jumped off the portside of a pontoon boat, right in front of the strobe lights giving light for his unfortunate captain. He was naked as a jaybird and jumped spread-eagle for everyone to see.

Irritating teenagers ... 

"Rude ... ?"

In no way, no how was the senior bodyguard going to impersonate Jack Sparrow, but even he wasn't beyond a little pirate jargon. "Do you wish to sail the seven seas, fair wench?" He carried no accent whatsoever, but it was still sexy nonetheless.

His car came to a stop and Kandi's eyes went wide. "You rented a boat?" she asked, cocking her head to the side.

"Just for the night," Rude explained as he unbuckled and stepped out of the car. Kandi followed his example and stepped out as well. One brand-spanking new speedboat was floating peacefully in the water, it's quiet appearance a lure for anybody with an adventure addiction. Two lifevests lay on it's floorboard, one extra-large and one medium.

"Awesome!" Kandi squealed excitedly, jumping up and down while clapping her hands. How kickass was this? A night time boat ride with a muscular, tall, bald guy. Yay!

* * *

"Yo ho, yo ho," Rude growled in the clavicle of the woman sitting astride in his lap. Their boat was anchored in a secluded and quiet area of the lake, the gentle rocking motions of the water only fueling to the rough 'n' tumble actions of it's passengers. The lifevests were tossed casually on the floor; the devices not really needed since the water vehicle was still. A pile of clothes lay crumpled on the ground while laughter and moans echoed to the midnight sky.

Let's not forget the half-empty bottle of Captain Morgan's placed beside them either.

Kandi crashed her lips down over her lover's in a fervent passion, moaning as his hands roamed over her large breasts. His thumbs ran across his each ripening bud and sparked a heating fire between them. "Shall I come aboard your vessel?" Kandi asked huskily, moaning into his mouth.

He gasped as her small, but deadly hands lowered down to his groin, her fingernails scraping along his tattoed chest and rippling muscles. "Come all you want," Rude groaned. Hot damn. She clasped at him, beginning to pump his pierced cock. The touch she used was gentle so not to tear out the speedbumps that sat along his length, but rough (and very skilled) enough to bring him fully erect. Up and down, up and down. Her hand motions mirrored the movements of the water, ancient rhythms of lust and love joining two beings together.

One large hand sifted through her red-streaked hair, an act to pull their mouths tighter together. Tongues collided, creating a sea of pure essence. Rude's moans became a wanton growl as his lover's hand pumped him deliciously faster. In return for her skillful hand magic, his angular palm delved to the pierced place between her thighs. Their nether regions matched and it made their sessions more erotic and sexy. 

She was slick and warm, a juicy result of their sultry actions. No, this wasn't the first time Rude and Kandi fucked out in the open air, be it day or night. But it was her first time fucking on a boat. Lucky for Rude. He was privilaged to tear away her boating virginity.

Kandi was wet for him and his long, hard erection throbbed for her. In a skilled, almost tantric manuever, his thick cock slipped inside her dripping core, their satisfied gasps ghosting into the wafting breeze.

Her satin-like hair grazed over him, a tantalizing contrast to the smoothness of his head--the one on his shoulders and the one being milked by precise feminine muscles. She bounced on top of his lap, causing their skin and her hair to slide with the erotic movements. Painted fingers clutched at wide shoulders, while lean legs wrapped around, fully encassing the hairless assassin in female heat. Different tastes danced upon his tongue. There was the saltiness of her sweat, the smoothness of the alcoholic rum on her lips, and exotic scent of her body spray infusing his pores.

Every bouncy thrust Kandi acheived, Rude matched with an upward buck of his hips. They stayed locked together, the movements of their bodies rocked even higher by the ripples of the lake. Their rented boat jerked side-to-side, a natural push for the trained killers. Luminescent moonbeams and twinkling stars flooded over the undulating Turks, almost ordaining them in a tantric union.

They urged each other on, the bucking of their hips becoming harder and faster in sea-worthy sex that any pirate would be proud of. Knuckles tightened over flesh as Kandi's womanly fluids spilled over Rude's muscled thighs. With a possessive grunt, the bald man clasped at her trim waist as he filled her hotly with his creamy seed. It spilled inside her and down her legs, oozing onto his proud-earned eight-pack abs. He clutched at her, gasping as they collapsed on the floor of the speedboat, gentle kisses being planted as they did so.

"Aye, wench," Rude whispered huskily. "I believe I shall keep you aboard." He still hadn't withdrew, not wanting to lose the feel of her tight sheath surrounding him.

"Your cum was smooth, just like the rum," she teased with a smile. 

A deep chuckle resonated from the back of his throat. "We still have half a bottle and the rest of the night, Kandi."

Her coy giggle and smile was all the answer he needed. Untangling himself from her slim form, Rude reached over to Captain Morgan and took a swig before pouring a hefty amount over Kandi's firm breasts ...

* * *

**Mystic: (snickers) I have a thing for pirates, can you tell? Do you blame me though? There was the very sexy pirate Wesley in The Princess Bride and let's not forget that hot babe Will Turner from Pirates of the Caribbean. Yum ... So, how was I bosslady? Did I leave you satisfied? (giggles) Don't forget to leave a review now. I'm not threatening or anything, but ... (picks up Pinhead from Puppetmaster) Isn't he cute and deadly? **


End file.
